Writing your vows are tricky. It’s so hard to incorporate all the things you love about your significant other into a few short lines that will build the foundation of the rest of your life together. Scary, I know. Here are some tips that will make the writing easier and the vows as meaningful as they can be.
1) Find Examples
Read a lot of examples online. Find a style you like. Figure out a format. Get a grasp of the type of words you want to use. Look at the tone, length, etc. Use your personality to create vows that are personal and meaningful. I often encourage couples to use the vows on my website as templates for writing theirs.
2) Take notes on your relationship
Answer some of these questions about your relationship:
What do you love about him/her?
What are their best qualities?
What do you want from the future?
What about him/her inspires you?
How has your life gotten better since you met them?
What have you loved about the past, present, and look forward to for the future?
What are some of their quirks that you love?
3) Write out the Promises you wish to make to your partner
Vows are promises that you make to each other for the rest of your life. Incorporate things that you have built your relationship on. If you’re religious, it might be a good idea to bring some of your religious values into the promises. If you’re funny or have inside jokes, humor is always a fun addition. Contemplate these questions while making promises:
What do you promise to do for your partner?
How to you promise to love them?
What aspects of your relationship do you value and want to continue?
What aspects of your relationship do you want to improve?
What do you promise for the present, and for the future?
4) Keep it simple
Sometimes simpler is better. Take out things too cryptic or too embarrassing. Imagine saying this stuff in front of everyone you love. Will they understand? Will you feel uncomfortable or will they? Don’t stress out on trying to make it big and bold when what really matters is expressing your love for your partner. If you go for too big, you may never get it done. Start small and revise. Just get something down on paper, give it some time, and come back to make it better.
5) Short is Sweet
Going on and on forever will only bore your guests and give less meaning to the words you say. Keep your vows around 10 sentences max. Short is simple, and simple is sweet.